Already he was a very different hobbit from the one that had run out without a pocket-handkerchief from Bag-End long ago. He had not had a pocket-handkerchief for ages. He loosened his dagger in its sheath, tightened his belt, and went on.
-- J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit
Today is the day I leave Spain. Although I'm not headed home to America for another week, I still have to say goodbye to my beloved Sevilla. It has been a really incredible 100 days. 100 days of exploration, learning, laughter, discovery, love, and absolute nonsense. These are the stories I will tell my grandchildren. If I hadn't been here living it, I would never have believed how incredible this semester has been. I always wondered why people came back from abroad longing to go back overseas and back to wherever they were, but now I understand. There is a magic in it. There's an inexplicable feeling of longing and adventure and love for this place I can now call home.
This semester I've crossed things off my bucket list that I didn't even know were there to begin with. I haggled in Arabic in a real Moroccan market, I walked part of the Way of St. James on my way to class every day, I danced sevillanas with the locals, I stood among two-thousand-year-old Roman ruins, I saw the place where my grandmother grew up before coming to America, and I survived the Great April Fools Day Disaster of 2015. I may not be going straight back to America, but flying off to London today still feels like the end of an era. I am not the same hobbit that dashed out from Bag-End 100 days ago.
How in world am I going to survive without all these things I didn't even know I was missing? What will life be like without the Giralda to tell me the weather and chino shops and patatas bravas? It's easy to say I will just go back to living like normal, but I know that won't be the case. The beauty of travelling is that you leave a little piece of your heart everywhere you go, and instead of suffering the pain of losing that piece of your heart, you can rejoice in knowing it is somewhere beautiful, and because it is there, you will never forget the beauty you left behind.
I was among the odd few who did not cry when we all said goodbye to each other last night. At first I thought it was just because I'm not often emotional in public, (or that I'm just plain cold -- I was once told my Patronus is a dementor), but then I realized that I didn't cry because I didn't have anything to regret. I have no "would haves" or "could haves" or "should haves". I did it all. I built friendships that won't be forgotten just because of distance. I loved every second. So for me, there is no sadness or regret or longing. This is not my last adventure. There is just what was and what is and what will be.